How Come Your Conflict Resolution Training Won’t Stop Falling Short: A Hard Reality Check
Your Mediation Illusion That’s Ruining Your Company: How “Win-Win” Outcomes Usually Cause Greater Issues Than They Resolve
Let me going to challenge one of the most sacred cows in modern dispute management training: the belief that every business dispute can and should be settled through “collaborative” approaches.
Such approach appears enlightened and humane, but following over a decade of working in organizational development, I can tell you it’s often complete rubbish that generates additional problems than it fixes.
This is the fundamental issue with the “mutual benefit” mindset: it assumes that each disagreements are about communication problems or competing desires that can be somehow harmonized if people just dialogue long enough.
In actual practice, many workplace conflicts center on legitimate, irreconcilable oppositions in goals, legitimate competition for limited positions, or cases where someone really has to prevail and someone else needs to concede.
We consulted with a large advertising company where the artistic group and the client services department were in constant tension about client work strategy.
Design teams demanded to develop original, standout work that would enhance their industry recognition. Client services teams demanded solutions that would satisfy traditional accounts and maintain ongoing client relationships.
Both teams had totally legitimate objectives. Both perspectives were crucial for the company’s growth.
Management consulted a series of mediation specialists who spent weeks conducting “collaborative dialogue” sessions.
Such sessions generated elaborate “win-win” approaches that seemed sophisticated on in theory but were entirely unrealistic in practice.
As an illustration, they developed processes where all project would magically balance “artistic excellence” with “client satisfaction.” They created complex evaluation processes and review committees designed to ensure that everyone’s priorities were considered.
Their result: project approval procedures that took significantly longer than previously, creative output that was watered down to the degree of being ineffective, and customers who were dissatisfied by contradictory messaging about project direction.
Both groups were even more unhappy than originally because nobody was getting what they really required to do their jobs well.
When six months of this nonsense, I convinced leadership to eliminate the “mutual benefit” strategy and implement what I call “Clear Priority Setting.”
Rather than working to assume that each project could at the same time meet conflicting priorities, they implemented definite standards for determining when creative innovation would receive focus and when account relationships would be the top focus.
With prestigious accounts where the firm needed to maintain long-term partnerships, client satisfaction would receive focus.
Regarding smaller clients or community campaigns, artistic people would have more freedom to pursue experimental approaches.
For prospective award competitions, creative excellence would be the main focus.
Each departments understood exactly what the objectives were for specific client work, what standards would influence direction, and what trade-offs were being chosen.
Conflict between the groups virtually ended. Both groups could concentrate on performing what they did best rather than continuously fighting about priorities.
Client happiness improved because business development people were able to confidently communicate project direction and expectations. Artistic innovation increased on designated campaigns because creative people had clear permission to pursue experimental solutions.
That point: trying to develop “collaborative” solutions for essentially competing interests often leads in “compromise” situations where nobody gets what they really need.
More effective to be honest about priorities and make conscious, intelligent choices about when competing objectives will receive precedence.
Here’s one more case of how the “collaborative” fixation causes complications. I worked with a software programming company where lead developers and entry-level team members were in ongoing tension about task allocation.
Senior developers insisted on working on complex, important tasks that would enhance their professional growth and improve their professional standing.
Junior staff required access to complex projects to gain their expertise and grow their capabilities.
Finite numbers of complex projects meant that providing more assignments to new employees inevitably meant reduced opportunities for senior team members.
Leadership brought in organizational development experts who spent months trying to create “creative” approaches that would magically fulfill each person’s professional aspirations.
The consultants developed complex systems for “joint work management,” “development arrangements,” and “expertise development initiatives.”
Not one of these systems addressed the core issue: there were just not sufficient challenging opportunities for everyone to get all they wanted.
The result: even more dysfunction in work allocation, delayed work distribution, and ongoing conflict from all groups.
The team assisted them implement a honest, performance-focused process for project assignment:
Senior positions on complex projects would be allocated based on demonstrated competence and expertise
Junior employees would be assigned designated training assignments designed to develop their skills progressively
Clear requirements and timelines were established for advancement from entry-level to lead roles
Each team members were clear about specifically what they needed to achieve to qualify for various categories of work opportunities
Disagreement within different categories nearly stopped. Junior employees managed to focus on meeting defined skill goals rather than fighting for limited opportunities. Experienced developers could work on challenging assignments without constantly defending their claim to these projects.
Productivity and quality increased significantly across each experience groups.
That lesson: transparent, merit-based distribution usually creates better results than elaborate “mutual benefit” solutions that work to prevent inevitable competition.
Now let’s address possibly the biggest harmful component of the “collaborative” obsession: how it enables inadequate employees and damages workplace standards.
We worked with a public sector department where a single department was regularly not achieving performance standards, producing substandard work, and creating complications for related units that counted on their output.
When other units raised concerns about these quality failures, administration consistently responded by organizing “joint dialogue” meetings to find “win-win” solutions.
These sessions would always conclude in elaborate “workflow adjustments” that basically expected high-performing teams to accommodate the poor work of the problematic unit.
For instance, instead of expecting the failing department to reach standard schedules, the “win-win” solution would be to adjust each project deadlines to accommodate their poor performance.
Instead of demanding them to enhance their quality levels, other teams would be asked to provide additional quality control, help, and improvements to account for their poor output.
That approach was incredibly unjust to effective teams and actively enabled substandard performance.
Worse, it caused resentment and dissatisfaction among effective staff who felt that their additional work was being unappreciated while inadequate colleagues were being accommodated from consequences.
I helped management to scrap the “win-win” approach and create honest performance management.
Management implemented clear quality requirements for every units, with definite consequences for repeated inability to reach these standards.
This problematic department was offered clear training and a adequate deadline to enhance their performance. After they refused to reach the necessary standards, appropriate management actions were implemented.
This transformation was immediate. Total performance improved dramatically, interdepartmental tensions dropped, and staff engagement among good employees increased considerably.
The point: genuine “win-win” outcomes result from upholding consistent performance levels for all parties, not from compromising expectations to accommodate substandard behavior.
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of watching organizations fail with ineffective “collaborative” obsessions:
Good dispute resolution needs executives who are willing to make difficult decisions, maintain clear priorities, and understand that never everyone can get all they prefer.
Sometimes the right solution is for someone to get what they need and others to accept less. Often the most effective approach is to eliminate elements who are unwilling to function productively within reasonable standards.
Furthermore frequently the most effective approach is to accept that certain disagreements represent basic incompatibilities in priorities that cannot be bridged through mediation.
Quit attempting to create “mutual benefit” solutions where they shouldn’t exist. Begin creating systems with fair expectations, consistent implementation, and the integrity to make appropriate changes when collaborative approaches won’t be sufficient.
Company organization – and your best staff – need no less.
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