Stop Hiring Agreeable People for Customer Service: How Personality Beats Niceness Every Time
I’m about to tell you something that will most likely offend every hiring manager who encounters this: hiring people for customer service based on how “nice” they seem in an meeting is part of the most significant mistakes you can make.
Nice becomes you minimal results when a customer is raging at you about a issue that isn’t your responsibility, insisting on fixes that cannot exist, and promising to damage your reputation on social media.
What is effective in those situations is strength, controlled standard-maintaining, and the ability to remain focused on solutions rather than feelings.
I figured out this lesson the challenging way while consulting with a significant retail company in Melbourne. Their recruitment system was entirely based on selecting “customer-oriented” people who were “inherently friendly” and “enjoyed helping people.”
Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?
The outcome: sky-high staff changes, continuous time off, and service experience that was perpetually mediocre.
Once I examined what was happening, I discovered that their “pleasant” staff were being completely devastated by difficult clients.
Such people had been recruited for their natural compassion and desire to assist others, but they had zero preparation or inherent protection against absorbing every customer’s bad emotions.
Worse, their natural tendency to please people meant they were continuously agreeing to expectations they were unable to fulfill, which caused even additional upset clients and increased anxiety for themselves.
We watched really compassionate employees resign in weeks because they couldn’t handle the emotional strain of the job.
Simultaneously, the few employees who performed well in challenging client relations environments had completely different personalities.
These people were not especially “nice” in the traditional sense. Instead, they were tough, self-assured, and comfortable with setting standards. They really wanted to assist customers, but they furthermore had the ability to communicate “no” when appropriate.
Those employees managed to validate a client’s upset without making it as their fault. They were able to remain composed when clients became abusive. They managed to stay focused on discovering practical outcomes rather than getting involved in dramatic arguments.
Those characteristics had little to do with being “pleasant” and significant amounts to do with psychological strength, internal security, and coping ability.
The team totally changed their recruitment approach. Instead of searching for “agreeable” applicants, we commenced evaluating for toughness, solution-finding skills, and confidence with standard-maintaining.
Throughout interviews, we presented people with realistic client relations scenarios: frustrated customers, unreasonable requests, and circumstances where there was absolutely no ideal fix.
Instead of inquiring how they would make the person happy, we inquired how they would handle the situation appropriately while protecting their own emotional stability and maintaining organizational policies.
The people who responded excellently in these assessments were rarely the ones who had originally appeared most “agreeable.”
Instead, they were the ones who exhibited clear analysis under stress, confidence with saying “no” when appropriate, and the skill to differentiate their own reactions from the customer’s mental situation.
Six months after implementing this new recruitment method, staff retention dropped by nearly significantly. Customer satisfaction increased substantially, but additionally notably, happiness particularly with challenging customer interactions increased remarkably.
Let me explain why this strategy succeeds: support is basically about solution-finding under pressure, not about being universally appreciated.
Clients who call customer service are generally previously frustrated. They have a problem they cannot resolve themselves, they’ve often already attempted various methods, and they want effective support, not shallow pleasantries.
The thing that angry people really need is a representative who:
Acknowledges their issue quickly and precisely
Demonstrates authentic ability in grasping and handling their problem
Gives straightforward information about what is possible to and cannot be accomplished
Takes suitable action promptly and follows through on promises
Keeps calm behavior even when the customer gets difficult
Observe that “agreeableness” isn’t appear anywhere on that set of requirements.
Competence, calm composure, and dependability matter much more than agreeableness.
Actually, overwhelming agreeableness can actually work against you in customer service encounters. When customers are genuinely frustrated about a serious concern, inappropriately upbeat or enthusiastic reactions can come across as inappropriate, fake, or out of touch.
I consulted with a investment institution company where customer service people had been trained to constantly display “positive attitude” regardless of the client’s emotional state.
This strategy worked fairly well for basic inquiries, but it was entirely inappropriate for major issues.
When people reached out because they’d lost substantial amounts of money due to system mistakes, or because they were facing monetary hardship and needed to explore repayment alternatives, forced cheerful responses came across as callous and inappropriate.
I re-educated their people to align their communication approach to the importance of the person’s situation. Serious problems demanded appropriate, professional treatment, not forced positivity.
Customer satisfaction improved immediately, particularly for serious issues. Clients sensed that their concerns were being handled seriously and that the people serving them were competent professionals rather than just “nice” individuals.
That takes me to another significant point: the gap between understanding and emotional absorption.
Good client relations people need empathy – the skill to acknowledge and acknowledge other people’s emotional states and situations.
But they certainly do not need to internalize those negative energy as their own.
Interpersonal internalization is what takes place when customer service people commence experiencing the same upset, stress, or distress that their people are feeling.
This psychological absorption is incredibly draining and results to burnout, poor performance, and high employee departures.
Professional compassion, on the other hand, allows people to recognize and attend to people’s emotional needs without making blame for resolving the client’s psychological wellbeing.
This distinction is essential for preserving both professional competence and individual wellbeing.
Therefore, what should you search for when selecting customer service staff?
First, emotional awareness and toughness. Search for candidates who can keep composed under challenging conditions, who don’t make person anger as their responsibility, and who can differentiate their own feelings from other people’s emotional conditions.
Next, solution-finding skills. Customer service is fundamentally about recognizing issues and finding workable solutions. Search for individuals who handle challenges systematically and who can reason logically even when interacting with emotional customers.
Also, comfort with boundary-setting. Look for candidates who can communicate “no” professionally but firmly when necessary, and who understand the difference between being supportive and being manipulated.
Fourth, genuine curiosity in problem-solving rather than just “helping people.” The most effective support staff are energized by the intellectual stimulation of fixing complex issues, not just by a wish to be appreciated.
Lastly, work confidence and personal dignity. Customer service representatives who value themselves and their work competence are significantly more effective at keeping healthy interactions with people and providing consistently high-quality service.
Don’t forget: you’re not selecting candidates to be professional companions or personal therapy workers. You’re hiring professional problem-solvers who can provide excellent service while maintaining their own professional dignity and upholding professional boundaries.
Hire for skill, toughness, and appropriate behavior. Pleasantness is less important. Professional excellence is mandatory.

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