Stop Hiring Agreeable People for Customer Service: Why Character Outweighs Agreeableness Every Time
I’ll tell you something that will likely annoy every recruitment professional who reads this: hiring people for customer service based on how “pleasant” they come across in an assessment is one of the most significant mistakes you can do.
Agreeable turns you nothing when someone is raging at you about a situation that is not your fault, demanding solutions that don’t exist, and threatening to destroy your reputation on online platforms.
That which works in those moments is strength, professional standard-maintaining, and the capacity to remain focused on results rather than emotions.
The team figured out this lesson the difficult way while consulting with a major commercial business in Melbourne. Their hiring process was totally focused on selecting “service-minded” candidates who were “naturally friendly” and “enjoyed helping people.”
Seems sensible, doesn’t it?
Their outcome: sky-high staff changes, constant sick leave, and service satisfaction that was perpetually average.
When I investigated what was occurring, I learned that their “nice” people were getting absolutely devastated by difficult clients.
Such people had been hired for their inherent empathy and desire to help others, but they had zero preparation or inherent barriers against taking on every customer’s negative emotions.
Even worse, their natural tendency to accommodate people meant they were repeatedly committing to requests they were unable to deliver, which created even additional upset people and additional pressure for themselves.
The team observed really compassionate employees quit after days because they couldn’t handle the mental impact of the job.
Meanwhile, the rare people who succeeded in difficult customer service roles had totally distinct personalities.
They were not particularly “nice” in the conventional sense. Rather, they were tough, confident, and at ease with setting boundaries. They really desired to help people, but they also had the strength to communicate “no” when necessary.
Such people managed to recognize a person’s frustration without accepting it as their fault. They were able to stay calm when clients became unreasonable. They were able to focus on finding practical solutions rather than becoming involved in dramatic arguments.
Those traits had little to do with being “nice” and much to do with mental strength, personal security, and coping ability.
I completely changed their selection process. Rather than screening for “agreeable” people, we began assessing for resilience, analytical capacity, and ease with boundary-setting.
Throughout interviews, we offered applicants with typical customer service examples: frustrated customers, impossible expectations, and situations where there was zero complete solution.
In place of asking how they would make the customer satisfied, we asked how they would manage the situation effectively while maintaining their own emotional stability and maintaining organizational standards.
Our candidates who performed most effectively in these scenarios were seldom the ones who had initially seemed most “agreeable.”
Alternatively, they were the ones who showed clear analysis under challenging conditions, comfort with communicating “I can’t do that” when appropriate, and the skill to differentiate their own emotions from the person’s emotional situation.
Half a year after establishing this new hiring approach, representative retention fell by more than three-fifths. Client experience improved remarkably, but more notably, ratings particularly for challenging customer interactions improved remarkably.
This is why this method succeeds: customer service is fundamentally about problem-solving under pressure, not about being continuously appreciated.
People who contact customer service are generally previously annoyed. They have a problem they are unable to resolve themselves, they’ve commonly beforehand worked through various approaches, and they require competent help, not shallow pleasantries.
What upset clients genuinely need is someone who:
Recognizes their issue immediately and precisely
Shows authentic competence in understanding and addressing their situation
Provides straightforward details about what can and is not possible to be accomplished
Takes reasonable measures efficiently and sees through on promises
Keeps composed composure even when the client gets emotional
Notice that “being nice” does not appear anywhere on that list.
Effectiveness, professionalism, and dependability are important significantly more than agreeableness.
Moreover, excessive agreeableness can sometimes work against you in customer service situations. When customers are really frustrated about a serious problem, inappropriately cheerful or bubbly reactions can come across as inappropriate, fake, or insensitive.
We consulted with a financial services company where client relations people had been taught to continuously display “cheerful attitude” irrespective of the person’s circumstances.
That approach functioned reasonably well for routine inquiries, but it was totally wrong for serious issues.
When people contacted because they’d missed large quantities of money due to technical errors, or because they were facing economic crisis and needed to arrange payment solutions, forced positive responses seemed as insensitive and wrong.
I taught their representatives to align their interpersonal tone to the seriousness of the customer’s situation. Significant problems demanded appropriate, respectful reactions, not forced cheerfulness.
Client experience got better instantly, notably for complicated problems. Clients experienced that their concerns were being handled with proper attention and that the staff helping them were professional service providers rather than merely “cheerful” individuals.
It brings me to a different crucial consideration: the gap between understanding and emotional taking on.
Skilled support people need understanding – the skill to recognize and validate other individual’s feelings and situations.
But they definitely do never require to internalize those negative energy as their own.
Psychological taking on is what takes place when customer service representatives commence feeling the same anger, anxiety, or distress that their people are feeling.
That psychological taking on is incredibly overwhelming and contributes to emotional breakdown, reduced effectiveness, and problematic employee departures.
Professional compassion, on the other hand, allows representatives to recognize and react to clients’ emotional needs without accepting ownership for resolving the customer’s psychological condition.
That separation is essential for protecting both professional performance and mental wellbeing.
So, what should you screen for when hiring customer service representatives?
First, psychological competence and resilience. Screen for individuals who can stay stable under pressure, who don’t make client upset as their fault, and who can distinguish their own reactions from another person’s emotional situations.
Second, problem-solving ability. Customer service is essentially about understanding issues and discovering practical fixes. Search for individuals who handle problems systematically and who can reason logically even when interacting with upset individuals.
Also, comfort with standard-maintaining. Screen for individuals who can communicate “no” politely but clearly when required, and who appreciate the gap between remaining helpful and being taken advantage of.
Additionally, authentic curiosity in problem-solving rather than just “pleasing people.” The excellent support people are motivated by the mental challenge of fixing difficult problems, not just by a wish to be appreciated.
Most importantly, work self-assurance and inner strength. Support people who appreciate themselves and their job expertise are far superior at keeping healthy boundaries with people and offering consistently excellent service.
Don’t forget: you’re not selecting candidates to be customer service companions or personal therapy providers. You’re selecting competent service providers who can provide outstanding service while preserving their own wellbeing and enforcing professional expectations.
Select for effectiveness, strength, and appropriate behavior. Niceness is secondary. Work quality is essential.

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